The first date brings up a lot of excitement and expectation. Unfortunately, many people create the perfect date in their minds and expect it from reality. At the same time, people come up with the perfect date based on the advice of magazines and bloggers. They forget about their true expectations and notions of dating. As a result, both are disappointed after just a few minutes of the meeting because neither of them demonstrates sincerity. By playing someone else’s role, you lose yourself.
The first date is an important step in creating a sincere relationship between two people. It can be a basic stepping stone for friendship and relationships.
The result of the first date leads may be a reason not to date again or the development of a happy relationship.
If you want your first date to grow into something more, you should avoid the most common mistakes:
- the continuous conversation only about yourself;
- show boredom;
- come with friends;
- demand something from a companion from the first minutes of acquaintance;
- behave rudely.
But the biggest mistake most people make on a first date is playing someone else’s role. Of course, we all want to be liked and are afraid to show our true colors for fear of being rejected. But, if you do not accept yourself as you are, you cannot expect this from others. Therefore, try to behave naturally and not hide your true colors. Even if your partner doesn’t see the hype on the first date, over time it will show up and create problems in the relationship.
A mentally healthy person knows how to notice a person’s flaws, but focuses his attention on the positive aspects of a partner. Therefore, you must be sure that your shortcomings are not a cause for criticism. Also, if your partner’s shortcomings do not cause you moral damage, you can continue to communicate with him.
Recommendations for a first date.
Going out on a date is a sign that you are interesting to others. This means that you are an attractive person and people want to communicate with you. Therefore, if you are too worried and anxious, your partner will not be able to get to know you better. People love to be around relaxed and happy people. Excessive anxiety can alienate your partner.
Many people believe that physical appearance is the main condition for a happy date. They spend too much time creating their look, makeup, or hairstyle. At the same time, on a date, they constantly worry about whether everything is in order with their appearance. This irritates the interlocutor. Your appearance should match your mood. Try to wear clothes that make you feel confident and beautiful.
A neat makeup and simple hairstyle are more admirable than a complex structure on your head. If you love jewelry, hairpins, or brooches, wear them. This is your natural image, and your partner should see it even if some people find your image strange.
Location of the first date.
Cafes, museums, movies, or concerts are neutral places that will help you get to know each other better. The choice of location depends on your temperament and interests. However, try to meet in crowded places if you have never met the person before. This will give you extra security and relieve tension. You can leave the date at any moment when you feel discomfort or danger.
Even if your life is full of problems and trials, you should not complain about life, especially on the first date. You might mention that you should try to cope with some difficulties, but not devote a few hours of your date to talking about it.
The topic for conversation.
The worst topics of conversation on a first date are politics and religion. Saying about it can hurt the other person’s feelings and ruin your date. Everyone is free to choose religion and political preferences. Therefore, you should respect them and not express your opinion, even if you have a million arguments that your partner is wrong. Try to ask each other questions, and you may find some common topics of conversation that interest both of you.
Psychologists believe that asking questions is an important part of dating. They help to learn more about each other and draw conclusions. You can ask about your partner’s hobbies, plans for the future, and dreams.
If you go on a date to find your partner’s flaws, it is doomed to fail. You don’t have to be too demanding and strict. Even your attitude towards the waiters shows your character. Sometimes people show a dismissive attitude towards service personnel to show that they are better. This is a sign of bad manners and complexes. Such people cause disgust and desire to leave them.
And the most important tip for a happy first date is to forget all the tips. Listen to yourself and be yourself. Many magazines teach you how to be someone on the first date, which leads to ruin. Therefore, there are no correct guidelines or rules. Each couple is unique and must create a unique story. Watch and listen to each other on the first date. Your feelings around this person are the main indicator of a happy relationship. Even the most ideal partner can cause tension, and a simple person with some flaws can give a lot of positive emotions.