Choosing a partner is a responsible decision that affects your life and mental health. Each of you hopes that your life with your partner will be filled with joy and happiness. Sometimes passion prevents you from adequately evaluating your relationship with your partner, and you do not see his/her shortcomings. In the first weeks of your relationship, you pay attention to his/her attractiveness, intelligence, and sense of humor. But how often do you look at his habits? For example, the habit of drinking beer or brandy after work every day. If you are not a lover of relaxing this way, it will be difficult for you to live with a partner who loves alcohol.
Sociological studies show that relationships in which both partners have the same relationship to alcohol are stronger and happier than those where one of the partners drink, and the other does not. The researchers say that the happiest men and women are those who drink together, but in moderation, about once a week.
Couples in which the partners do not drink at all also look strong enough. The least happy couples are those where one partner drinks and the other does not.
Sociologists don’t urge you to start drinking if you want to be happy with your partner. But you must understand that if your attitude towards alcohol is strikingly different from that of your partner, you will be unhappy with him. Therefore, you better not start a serious relationship with such a person. Each of you can find a partner who will have the same life principles as you.
Psychologists say that alcohol is a substitute for happiness. When you drink alcohol, you are trying to get joy from external sources because you cannot find it within yourself. Also, many people use alcohol as a way to relax because they do not know how to relax, their mental barriers disappear, and they feel joy and lightness. It is an illusion. The next day, they return to real life and see not what you want. They return to alcohol again to see the world through the prism of joy and lightness. Thus, their need for alcohol increases. Most people think drinking alcohol on weekends is the norm. But over time, the dose may increase, and alcohol appears on weekdays.
If you notice that your partner is drinking more and more often, it is not your fault. It’s his choice. You can ask him about the reasons for this behavior. But if he/she does not want to change anything, you cannot influence him/her.
You should acknowledge this fact and move on. You cannot help a person who does not want your help.
Also, do not reproach her/him. Don’t tell him that his behavior is annoying. Say that you are worried about his well-being, about his health, about your family and your children.
At the same time, try to speak when your partner is sober so that he perceives your conversation adequately.
Ask him about the reasons for his need for alcohol. If you can talk frankly, you can understand the reasons for his behavior. His answers can help you to find a solution to the problem.
But you should be prepared for the fact that your partner does not want to change anything. And you have to decide the future of your relationship. If you cannot accept your partner with this addiction, leave him. This decision will be right for both of you. But, if you decide to continue a relationship with a drinking partner, never blame him for this. It is your choice.
Do not try to change your partner or teach him the rules of life. You can help him understand the reason why he drinks. But only the person himself can realize the problem. Perhaps for him, it is the only way to cope with life’s difficulties.
You can only help your partner by accepting him as he is.