You love your partner, you like to spend time with him, and share your experiences with joy. At first glance, you have an ideal relationship, but there is one problem with which you prefer to be silent. Your intimate life does not give you pleasure. Do not rush to blame yourself or your partner. Many couples experience the same problems as you. We want to convince you that this is not a reason to part and look for another partner. Everything can be solved.
According to psychologists, many couples have sexual problems. The main problem is that partners have different levels of libido and different expectations from sex. Therefore, one partner may be more active in intimate life, while the other is forced to either refuse or endure. Situations and causes of such problems may be different, but they are united by one thing – everything can be adjusted with the help of a specialist.
But, try talking to each other before going to the doctor. You must calmly explain that you are not comfortable with intimate life, but you want to make it better. Your task is to create harmonious relations that will satisfy both partners. There is nothing shameful that you are experiencing certain difficulties. Believe the words of experts who claim that 80% of couples have problems in sex, but half of them prefer to remain silent about it.
Psychologists recommend you try to correct the situation using their advice.
Do not look for the culprit.
If you are disappointed in sex, this does not mean that your partner or you are guilty. You are different people. You have a different idea of pleasure and different things excite you. And your partner does not know how to read thoughts, so he acts as he knows. Tell your preferences to your partner to avoid misunderstanding. Consider your problem as a journey into an unknown world where you and your partner study something new. Ask your partner what he/she prefers. Tell your partner what you like and what you do not. Such a dialogue will help you learn more about each other and this is not just about the body. A confidential conversation brings you emotionally closer, too.
Try to wake up the sensitivity in your pair. Your task is to touch each other, while you must exclude sex from your plans for tonight. Examine your partner with your fingers, watch how he reacts to your touch. Then switch places and your partner touches you. You should do this practice at least 15 minutes once a week. You will focus on hearing your body, it will begin to respond to touch. The development of sensuality is the first step to enjoy sex.
Write a list of your preferences.
This is a fun game that will bring passion to your intimate life. You should discuss with your partner your desires for sex and make a list. The list should include the partner’s wishes that do not violate the boundaries of the second partner. After you find a compromise, you write out each desire on a separate sheet and put them in a box. In the evening, when you decide that you can take time for each other, you take, with closen eyes, one sheet. You do what is indicated on the sheet. A little intrigue will not hurt you.
Tidy up your emotional state.
Stress is the main problem of the 21st century. Our body gives all its energy in the pursuit of success, money. By the end of the day, people feel like squeezed lemon and their only desire is to lie down and fall asleep. Therefore, if you want your life to be filled in all these areas, then determine where you are spending your energy, and how you can fix it. Reducing the level of stress in your life will improve all aspects of your life, including intimate ones.
Find a good therapist.
You can try to solve the problem yourself, but a specialist will help you do it faster and better. Do not be shy. You are not alone, and no one will condemn you. Contact your doctor if you have tried all the recommendations, but your sex life is not improving.