Sometimes, in the process of building healthy and happy relationships, you get carried away with different attributes, but forget about the basis of the relationship – trust. What is a trust for you? What emotions do you experience when you trust your partner? You can get an answer only by listening to yourself. You will surely feel that trust gives you complete peace of mind and no doubt about your partner.
Loss of trust can be caused by various factors, for example:
- your partner’s behavior;
- traumatic experiences in past relationships;
- children’s psychological trauma;
- low self-esteem.
Trust doesn’t arise spontaneously. It comes over time in the process of relationships between people and is usually built on ethical and moral standards. A mentally healthy person cannot trust a stranger. Trust requires certain conditions that people create themselves. When you start to feel secure in your relationship with a certain person, you start to trust him/her.
Everyone wants to be guaranteed that the relationship won’t hurt him/her. Unfortunately, it is impossible to predict, but you can build trust. To do this, you should pay attention to the moral and ethical standards of your partner, and also learn to negotiate with him what is acceptable for you in a relationship. If he is satisfied with your conditions, then you can be sure about your partner not to do harm and hurt you. In such a relationship, you feel secure and can give love without fear.
Trusting each other is a difficult but necessary process for the happiness of both partners. After all, they both live in hell when one of them does not trust the other. A person who is not trusted experiences anger, resentment for this. The other partner lives in a world of fear and resentment. And despite love, such a relationship makes both partners unhappy.
At the same time, the most simple everyday things can become the reason for distrust.
But rebuilding trust is not easy. Your desire to improve your relationship is not enough for this. You will have to go the hard way and find out what is the reason for your distrust. You are constantly looking for evidence that your partner is cheating on you or wants to hurt you in moderation. But this is your view of the world and needs to be changed. Perhaps you are wrong, and your partner loves and cares about you. But you need proof that he cannot provide.
Simple steps toward trust.
Before embarking on building trust, you must understand that you are not responsible for the current situation. Your partner should understand the seriousness of the problem and make an effort to meet you, too.
Start by analyzing the current situation and understand why you feel fear of betrayal before you even know about it. Perhaps, you saw such an example in your parents’ family and now look at the world through the prism of this experience. Or maybe your ex-partner was cheating on you, and you think that all people are the same.
Then you must learn the facts that support your partner’s betrayal. How real they are, or it is a figment of your imagination.
Perhaps the reason for your mistrust is your secrecy, and you are afraid to open up your inner world to your partner. Do not be afraid and open up to your partner step by step, and you will see that it only makes you happier.
Also, often the reason for distrust is the misinterpretation of your partner’s emotions and actions. After all, you grew up in different conditions and are used to expressing emotions in different ways. If you are expressing your love and care through hugs, then your partner may use a different method. Learn to hear and understand each other.