Selfishness is a contradictory feeling that is condemned by many contemporaries. However, scientists in the area of psychology claim that every feeling can be used negatively or positively. Even caring can be harmful, and selfishness can be beneficial. Therefore, it all depends on how you use your feelings.
Scientists call two different versions of selfishness – healthy and unhealthy. Both of these options have their qualities and differ from each other radically. A person with healthy egoism puts himself and his interests first, but at the same time, he takes into account the interests of the people around him. Such a person respects his boundaries and the boundaries of others. A person with unhealthy egoism thinks exclusively of himself, the interests of those around him are not interested, and he breaks the personal boundaries of other people with ease. Psychologists say that healthy selfishness is a natural trait of a mentally healthy person, while an unhealthy one indicates the presence of internal problems and self-dislike.
A person with healthy selfishness sets priorities correctly and declares this honestly. As a rule, such people put themselves first, followed by husband/wife, children, parents, hobbies, and work.
If you are one of those people who believe that their life is a priceless gift that they value and put themselves first, then you have a healthy egoism.
Even though many do not like to communicate with selfish people, people with healthy selfishness are honest. They understand themselves, love, and accept all their shortcomings, which means that they also relate to others with respect. They understand that every life is important and deserves respect. Such people tell you clearly if you are breaking their boundaries. Communication with such people is sincere, and you can be sure that their every word is true. A person who knows how to take care of himself can also love others.
Unhealthy egoism requires sacrifice, so its owner is usually internally dissatisfied, as he suppresses his natural desires. Such a person tries to please everyone, so he cannot refuse to sacrifice his true wishes. At the same time, such a person fulfills your request not unkindly, since he expects you to appreciate his victim and reward him for his diligence. At the same time, people with unhealthy egoism cannot be sincere, which makes communication with them not pleasant.
Scientists have established that those who do not know what is self-love cannot love others truly. Selflove is an instinct, and its denial is a consequence of not accepting oneself as a unique person. As a result, such a person cannot take care of himself or others.
Many of you have been raised in families and societies which believe that taking care of yourself is a sign of disrespect for others. Perhaps they taught you that you have to think about the interests of others first and then you will take love from people too. But in reality, self-love and self-care is the best way to take care of others.
If you learn to love yourself, take care of yourself, then you will notice how the attitude of others towards you is changing. At the same time, you will become a happy, harmonious person, and everyone loves to be with happy people and be charged with their positive energy. At the same time, a happy person acquires the ability to give love and care free of charge. He is filled with himself and can share his positive energies with you. He does not expect anything from you in return because he does not lose when he gives you his attention. His energy grows from this.