Forgiveness: when it is necessary to ask and whether it is worth forgiving.


How often do you ask for forgiveness? Do you forgive people or hold a grudge all your life?

Forgiveness is of interest to many psychologists and experts. Many philosophers believe that forgiveness is the greatest gift that improves a person’s quality of life.

Scientists have studied this subject and have come to the conclusion that not all people can sincerely forgive. However, they are confident that you can learn to forgive and forget the hurt. Also, they argue that forgiveness does not mean continuing communication with the person who offended you. You need more forgiveness than your abuser. Also, if you have offended someone, you should learn to ask for forgiveness sincerely and accept refusal if the person does not want to forgive you. Admitting your mistakes will help you analyze your life and move on to improve the quality of your life.

Unfortunately, your brain resists this process and convinces you that you are right, and there is no need to ask for forgiveness. Therefore, drowning out the reasoning is the first step to forgiveness. You must understand that everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone can admit them. Therefore, if you learn to see your mistakes, you will learn to avoid them in the future. People, who believe they are right all the time, make the same mistakes over the years and cannot improve their quality of life. Nobody wants to be guilty, and this is stressful for your psyche. If you want to have good relations with the people around you, you need to do it in cases of your guilt.

However, some people ask for forgiveness even if they are offended. This position of the victim does not bring happiness, so they need to learn how to defend their boundaries.

When to ask for forgiveness:

  • failure to keep a promise,
  • causing harm or physical and mental pain to another person,
  • harm or damage to other people’s property.

Before asking for forgiveness, you should consider the situation and understand the level of your guilt. If you don’t believe in your guilt, you don’t have to apologize. An insincere apology can make the situation worse, and your relationships with others worsen.

Ask for forgiveness if you are confident that you will improve and that you will not make the same mistake again.

Apology rules:

  • admit your guilt,
  • state the reason for your action,
  • express regret,
  • repent,
  • make a decision not to make a mistake like this,
  • ask for forgiveness.

All of these rules are important for solving the problem, however, some of them have less power of influence. For example, explaining why you did something doesn’t always matter to the person you hurt. Perhaps he/she does not want to hear it, and it is enough for them to be sure that this will not happen again. Although, forgiveness is a credit of trust. Nobody can give guarantees about the future.

You should ask for forgiveness when both opponents have calmed down, and their emotions have subsided. It can take hours or days. Also, you should ask for forgiveness when meeting face to face.

You must be prepared for the fact that you will not be forgiven. It may never happen. Give the person time to think about what you are saying and decide how to move on.
If you have received forgiveness, take it as a precious gift that you must safe and cherish. Therefore, do not do such things in the future.

Many people are afraid to apologize because they see it as a sign of weakness. Only strong people can admit their mistakes and take responsibility for them.

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