You have met the one who can become your partner for many years. You are dating often, and your relationship goes to a new level. Now you meet his friends, and you understand that the relationship has become too serious. After this realization, you have a lot of important things to do, and you cannot spend time with your friend. The constant cancellation of dates and the refusal to talk about your relationship annoys your partner and he/she just leaves you. After all, a mentally healthy person does not tolerate such neglect of himself. People should leave where they are not appreciated. You are upset that this all happened, and you may even realize your mistakes, but when you meet a new partner everything happens according to the same scenario.
Even if you assure that you want a serious relationship, then any psychologist will tell you that you are sabotaging them. The cause of this behavior may be fear or childhood injury.
To determine what pushes you into such a scenario, it is necessary to conduct a session with a psychologist, and maybe not one. Only a specialist will be able to identify the true causes of the sabotage of relations. But so that you understand what is happening in your life, get acquainted with the causes of sabotage of relations. Recognizing them you will cope with them easily.
Fear of intimacy.
This symptom appears as a result of a negative experience. Therefore, remember the situation when you were betrayed. It can be a friend in childhood or one of the parents. Sometimes the cause of fear of intimacy may be the pain of losing a loved one. You are afraid to become close with someone because you are afraid of the pain you will experience if he/she leaves you.
Childhood.
“If you were a child, you have something to tell your psychologist.” Our parents bring up as they consider it right, but even the most loving parents sometimes injure the psyche of children. But there are times when children grow up in families where there is violence, both physical and emotional. After such a childhood, people are afraid to enter into close relationships, as they are sure that the family is pain and humiliation. They are afraid to trust. An easy relationship without commitment is the only relationship option for them.
The methods of sabotaging relationships can be various negative manifestations in your behavior that you use each time you move to a new level in a new relationship. Watch yourself, what you always do, that your partner goes away forever. Constant criticism, ignoring the partner, aggression is just the tip of the iceberg.
You have a chance to make a difference. Ask for help if you cannot do it yourself. Making a difference is hard work, but you will receive a reward for it in the form of a strong and happy relationship.
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