Relationships are a wonderful part of our life, which requires work and effort every minute. Even though most couples have a general passion, views on life, or plans, some details can be annoying. People cannot be the same in everything. Differences make each person unique and interesting. The ability to accept a difference in your partner makes your relationship strong and trusting.
Each of us thinks that only we know how to do these or other things correctly. When we notice that our partner is doing something differently, we begin to criticize and indicate how to act. Criticism is an unpleasant thing that destroys trust and brings irritation to relationships. After all, each of us loves when he/she is praised and encouraged, and criticisms hurt us, even if they are fair. On the other hand, many point out their partner’s weaknesses to control him. After all, when a person acts predictably, it gives us a sense of stability and calm. But the second partner experiences uncertainty and discomfort at the same time. Therefore, frequent criticism leads to the destruction of relations. After all, a person wants to have a comfortable relationship and leaves where he is not appreciated.
At the beginning of the relationship, you expect your partner to do everything as you imagine. And when you see that he/she acts in her way, it makes you disappointed. Each of us has our own set of rules and attitudes about the world, which are formed from early childhood. Each person has his own experience, which affects his actions. If your partner doesn’t do what you want, this does not mean that he/she is doing wrong. He/she simply has his idea and the correctness of this path. His choice of path depends on his experience and he is not trying to hurt you. You hurt yourself when you expect from a partner that he/she cannot give you.
An attempt to change a partner will not bring the desired result. He may play according to your scenario for some time, but his internal settings will come out and he will act again as he considers it right. Therefore, when you enter into a relationship, you must determine which actions of the partner are unacceptable for you and which are not of fundamental importance. If you enter into a relationship with a person and hope to change him over time, then this is your huge mistake, which will lead to the disappointment and unhappiness of both partners.
Also, constant criticism causes negative feelings in the partner and he/she begins to behave badly to make you hurt. This is a defensive reaction. When you tell your partner that he/she is mediocre or not good enough, he/she will confirm your opinion about him/her, even if he/she is not.
If you notice that criticism is an integral part of your abuse, then start taking the first steps to get rid of it.
The following simple steps will help you reduce the level of criticism in your relationship and you can improve your relationship with your partner.
Responsibility. Only you can control your feelings and words. Before you start criticizing your partner, think about how your words will affect him/her and your trust.
Acceptance. You must understand that every person believes in the correctness of his path. Begin to respect the views of your partner and do not impose your opinion on him. He may be inspired by your example, but it will be his/her decision.
Talk. You should inform your partner that some of his actions hurt you or cause unpleasant feelings. He/she may not know about this. Even small household issues can be solved in different ways.
Control. Forget it all depends on you. Let your partner do what he wants. If this does not suit you, you can leave it, but do not try to change it. Also, none of us are perfect, neither are you. Therefore, you must accept everyone as they are and move away from those that do not fundamentally suit you.